yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Redeem this text for a blowjob
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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