What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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