i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
