Sry I called you an 8
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
