so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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