similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
