im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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