I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize