I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
