dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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