Grow some girl-balls and come out already
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
