come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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