Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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