piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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