people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
