Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
