At least make sure they are 18
Why
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
