I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
