He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
