I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
