i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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