you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
