I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
