i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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