In the future we'll all be gay
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
