yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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