New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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