Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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