p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
