Sponge bath it is.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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