i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
