Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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