It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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