I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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