i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
