You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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