Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
