He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
