I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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