I'm drive I can fine osifer
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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