Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
