i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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