That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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