Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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