butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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