If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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