The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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