What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
jump out the window naked night went bad
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
