clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
