BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
