i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
