I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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