He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
