I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
