Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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