his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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