You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
