do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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