Me too!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
