you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
