Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
wanna go halves on a baby?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
